An Encouraging Note...

I had a friend send me a card with two quotes about waiting in the letter. (Allison Frazey, if you ever read this, thank you again!)

One of the quotes said this…

 "Waiting on God isn't about the suspension of meaning and purpose. It's part of the meaning and purpose. It's part of the meaning and purpose God brought into my life. Waiting on God isn't to be viewed as an obstruction in way of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn't simply about what I'll receive at the end of my wait. No, waiting is much more purposeful, efficient, and practical than that. Waiting is fundamentally about what I become while I wait. God is using the wait to do in and through me exactly what He's promised. Through the wait, He's changing me. By means of the wait, He's altering the fabric of my thoughts and desires. Through the wait He's causing me to see and experience new things about Him and His kingdom. And all this sharpens me, enabling me to be a  more useful tool in His redemptive hands." 

This past week has been great. For the first time in about a year, I really just have a peace about this desire to grow my family. I am EXCITED to see how God is going to work in this area. I seriously just can't wait to watch the upcoming months unfold. I can't explain it, but I just praise God for this change. Today I was given an opportunity to become discouraged and dismayed about this trial again, and after choking back the tears momentarily, I reminded myself about God's goodness, His sovereignty, and HIS plan. I really don't have a plan anymore. I still have a desire to have a bigger family, but I don't know what that will look like--I don't know how long I will continue to wait. BUT, that's okay. God knows and that is enough. God is doing a lot in my heart through this process, and for that, I am grateful. My heart for adoption is HUGE. Like I cry at the thought of adopting. I cry at pictures I see of parents holding their adopted children. I cry as I think of the opportunity to bring a child into a home that is centered on the Gospel. I am beyond stoked if that is the means of God growing my family. I'm about to cry as I type this. Haha. :) Anyways, through God's grace, I am really trying to wait well. I want others to look at me, and see my trust in God, and not me beaten down by this trial. Yes, it isn't an easy trial for me, and I've had many moments where I have prayed for God to take this trial from me. It's still a prayer I pray daily. But if this trial was too much for me to bear, He would have taken it away; He hasn't, and so I will continue to bear it.

Anyways, this past year has shaken me. But it's been good and exactly what I have needed. Sanctification isn't going to be a walk in the park.